McClain as Convocation Speaker

Group of 88 stalwart and incoming Academic Council chairperson Paula (“no to due process”) McClain will be the speaker for this year’s opening convocation for graduate and professional school students. (The convocation occurs on August 22.)

Given the administration’s creative re-interpretation of the Group of 88 statement, I suppose such a selection would be expected.

I invite readers to use the comment section to recommend topics for McClain’s address; I’ll post the most creative responses tonight.

[As of 7.40pm, some of the more creative of the many amusing suggestions; a further update later.]

“How to cost your employer millions of dollars in legal settlements AND get cool new titles”

“Why Due Process is so 20th century”

“To the students of Duke University, we are listening. Well, not to most of you.”

“88 ways to spin racism and politics to sell your product and promote yourself.”

“Actual evidence in the U.S. criminal justice system: who needs it?”

“Why Duke Process is not Due Process”: Subtitle: “Don’t trust anybody over 30. Really. We mean it.”

“Incoherency, the forgotten virtue”

“Duke University: where anything you say can and will be used against you -- unless you’re a member of the 88, in which case, anything you say (no matter how stupid, defamatory, incorrect, etc.,) will be used to justify giving you a promotion.”

“Turning up the volume and making collective noise: How to throw your classmates under the bus”

“Reality: What a Concept”