Wednesday, September 26, 2007

More Marketing 101 from DNA Security

DNA Security has made another unusual marketing move.

At the Nifong ethics hearing, Dr. Brian Meehan lectured the audience that the firm's name was DNA Security, not DNA Securities. Given his conduct in the case, any sensible person would have preferred that people remember the wrong name for the firm.

At the Nifong criminal contempt trial, parts of which were brodcast, Meehan showed up wearing a DNA Security shirt. Again, why he would have wanted to have broadcast the name of the firm in that particular context is unclear.

Now, DNA Security is marketing a new product. The title of the webpage: "Forever DNA Crystal." The heading of the announcement: "A Unique Rememberance." Indeed it was.

The truth is stranger than fiction.

Hat tip: R.T.

31 comments:

Mandelbrot's Chaos said...

I'm just glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that. That was hilarious, and as bizarre (if more harmless) as anything else with this case.

Mandelbrot's Chaos said...

They'd probably bury the results deep into a 2,000 page report and then say that the initial product was a "preliminary report", with the real DNA crystal available for an extra fee.

Anonymous said...

That is the most bizarre thing I have ever seen. Is that the Small size or the Mangum,,,I mean, Magnum size?

Ralph Phelan said...

"Again, why he would have wanted to have broadcast the name of the firm in that particular context is unclear."

Not to me. They're positioning themselves as the go-to lab for corrupt cops and prosecutors who need help with a frame-up.

To me the real scandal is that DSI is still in existence. Anything beyond that is irrelevant (though admittedly quite funny).

Wondering if this were some kind of hack or prank, I called the phone number in the ad and got DNA Security.

Thank you guys for giving me a big laugh to start the day!

I just hope your "Crystal" doesn't contain a soup of dozens of other people's DNA....

Anonymous said...

First, that is creepy as hell. Who let the science dorks run wild on the Home Shopping Club?

Second, does any scientist with hopes of credibility in their field also want to come off looking like a late night infomercial huckster?

Anonymous said...

I honestly thought that was a LS parody. Unbelievable!

miramar said...

I assume their DNA crystal is, ahem, their mangum opus.

Unfortunately, your loved one's DNA would probably be mixed in with the DNA one of Meehan's cells.

inman said...

Saturday Night Live would love this.

This transcends absurd.

But, it's clear that the marketing folks didn't do all their homework, otherwise the slogan would be:

"A Precious Gift of Remembrance"

Anonymous said...

Perhaps they can take the DNA and frame people for committing crimes that occur after they are dead.

Why should the living bear all the risk of being targeted by corrupt law enforcement?

SAVANT

Debrah said...

This case was full of doughnuts.

Meehan is the perfect character to serve as the zany mascot.

Mikey, Meehan, Crystal, Brodhead, most of the media.......and on...and on...and on.......

Anonymous said...

Brilliant! Thanks for this.

Not only is it hilarious, but it provides invaluable material for cross-examination of dithering nitwit Meehan or any of his cohorts -- IF any lawyer is ever stupid enough to hire him again.

Ralph Phelan said...

Anonymous 9/26/07 10:34 AM
said...
"it provides invaluable material for cross-examination"
I don't think so:

Prosecutor: "Objection. Irrelevant."
Judge: "Sustained."


"of dithering nitwit Meehan or any of his cohorts -- IF any lawyer is ever stupid enough to hire him again."


I'm sure they've no shortage of business. If I were a dishonest cop or prosecutor with a weak case, and I needed a lab that could be depended on to give me the "right" results, I know who I'd be calling first....

So far as I know, DSI and its employees have never been convicted of anything, lost any lawsuits, or even had any kind of action against them begun. Thus however much you and I may believe they're incompetent sleazebags who couldn't be trusted if they told you the sky was blue, under standard rules of evidence how much of what we know would be useable by a defendant to impeach their credibility in a courtroom?

One of the great holes in American jurisprudence this case has illuminated is the lack of standards and safeguards surrounding forensic science and its practitioners.

Anonymous said...

This is a joke, right? A Spoof? Surely DNA Security can't still be in business and Meehan still burying exculpatory evidence.

scott said...

LOL !!!!

The myriad references on the website to "crystal vault" were a hilarious reminder of DNA Security and their rightful place in the Hall of Shame in the Lax frame job.

Just another example of "you can't make this stuff up."

Anonymous said...

I also thought this had to be a LS joke... When I get home tonight, I'll send an email to Tina Enz... have to be careful what I say on my computer at work...

RighteousThug said...

7:33am Anon:

The next larger size is called a 'jarrielboam'. ;>)

Anonymous said...

Ralph Phelan said...

Anonymous 9/26/07 10:34 AM
said...
"it provides invaluable material for cross-examination"

I don't think so:

Prosecutor: "Objection. Irrelevant."
Judge: "Sustained."

-----------

I don't think so.

Are you a trial lawyer? I am, and I have seen many similar such examples admitted to impeach an "expert's" credibility, or to shed light, for the jury's due consideration, upon the nature of the expert's business.

On the other hand, sadly you may be correct that potential clients are lining up for this dirtbag's services -- all crooked prosecutors looking for a compliant co-conspirator in a frame-up. But, such prosecutors should be prepared for a rough cross-exam of their "expert".

Ralph Phelan said...

"Are you a trial lawyer? I am, and I have seen many similar such examples admitted to impeach an "expert's" credibility, or to shed light, for the jury's due consideration, upon the nature of the expert's business."

Well, that's good to know.

Still, it was after Meehan's December testimony that DSI got a contract with the state of Florida to do forensic work, so obviously there are a lot of police and prosecutors out there who aren't worried about being challenged on their credibility.

Is there any way to help let defense lawyers know that if they see the name "DSI" they've got an opening? Sadly, most of the folks who most need this information are probably being represented by an overworked public defender....

mac said...

I remember writing on an earlier thread about DNA and Mangum etc. Went something like this (I hardly remember what I wrote):

DNA evidence not matching any of the Lacrosse players? Priceless.

DNA of 4-12 men unknown men? Precious!

Anonymous said...

I don't remember the name of the Florida county that was considering hiring Meehan's lab, but if someone wants to alert defense lawyers there about cross-ex materials on Meehan, they can forward the transcripts of the Dec. 15 hearing (where Meehan admitted he and Nifong agreed to withhold relevant and exculpatory information, in violation of Meehan's lab's own rules) to the local defense bar organization -- or to the County's public defender's offices (there will be both federal and state public defender's offices). I'm sure they'd be happy to get the information, and they'll know exactly how to use it. (And yes, it is admissible to impeach Meehan's credibility as an expert).

The troubling part of this story to me is the fact that this lab is still accredited. Wasn't the accrediting agency supposed to be doing an investigation? If the investigation has concluded and the agency has decided to let the lab keep its accreditation, that is very disturbing indeed.

Anonymous said...

I think the crystal DNA vault is lovely. It may help those who have lost loved ones to find some confort.
Nothing has happened to Meeham or the lab. Many of you folks spent to much time crucifying a lowly staff nurse and let the big fish get away.

09 parent said...

This is a Photo Shop Joke right? Was this on Jon Stewart last night and I missed it? The "Crystal" reference was intended as double entendre, correct?

Anonymous said...

Could Meeham been that clever to include "Crystal" as a double entendre? Talk about a middle digit respone to the bloggers.

Gary Packwood said...

09 parent 2:18 said...
...This is a Photo Shop Joke right? Was this on Jon Stewart last night and I missed it? The "Crystal" reference was intended as double entendre, correct?
::
Letterman.

The Duke guys got bored with the dancers and saw this on Letterman and passed the news along to us...since we don't stay up that late.
::
GP

Ralph Phelan said...

09 Parent-
Call the number on the linked web page. No joke.

Which of course makes it even funnier.

Anonymous said...

2:18 -- the modifier is still "yet". Further, I would take the "ly" off of the word lowly for a better description.

creeped out said...

That is just so creepy in so many ways.

Anonymous said...

"Many of you folks spent to much time crucifying a lowly staff nurse and let the big fish get away."

You know, I used to call you Tara's Troll. Now I'm going to call you Hootie and the Blowfish.

Why?

It's just one damn song, over and over and over.

Anonymous said...

Why do you think Meedham is still in business? I actually know Hootie and was in a video back in the 80s.

Anonymous said...

There is no "yet" and never will be. The truth does not change.

Anonymous said...

"There is no "yet" and never will be. The truth does not change."

But Crystal's story changes and Tara's findings change right along with it. "I wasn't surprised when I heard no DNA was found because rape is not about passion or ejaculation but about power." Hint: the question is not "can you construct a brand-new story that still accuses the players of rape and this time doesn't involve an ejaculation?" but "is there any plausibility to Crystal's original story which specifically stated that one of the players had ejaculated into her mouth and she had spit it out?"