Friday, July 13, 2007

Untitled Post

[Updated, 8.43pm]
This item was posted accidentally as a blank post at noon: I was out of town today and thought I could post the 8.43pm (above) by remote. Didn't seem to work :)

48 comments:

Anonymous said...

Que?

Anonymous said...

G88 finally silenced DiW!

Anonymous said...

Has KC's blog been Nifonged???

wayne fontes said...

Is this the equivalent of open thread Friday?

Michael said...

Maybe one of the many Microsoft updates this week hosed KC's laptop.

Anonymous said...

I can't tell from your essay whether Harris was at Duke in 1996, when I took the university writing course. But I can say that my legal writing professor was politically moderate and did not impose his politics on the class in any way.

The texts we read and the topics we discussed were uniformly boring (everyone hates the writing course) but not trying to enforce any particular social vision. I vaguely remember intolerable discussions about the ancient Greeks and the difference between argument and rhetoric.

Also, I think it's a bit unfair to say that Harris "may have pressured...his contingent subordinates to endorse the statement" by signing it himself. Using that logic, it would be inappropriate for anyone in a position of authority to express his political opinions. I've had multiple bosses and never felt my career to be at stake just because they were Republicans and I was a Democrat.

At least since De Toquerville, Americans have talked openly, loudly, and unendingly about politics, and I think that's a good thing.

Anonymous said...

I think it may be more than a Microsoft problem. The Group of 88, Nifong, and the city of Durham all combining forces on Friday the 13th in a nefarious plot to destroy DIW--where is KC?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps it is life imitating art and this is KC's termination of DIW in 'Sopranos' fashion.

GPrestonian said...

Perhaps an homage to Marcel Marceau?

gs said...

Microsoft's programs do not have bugs, they are "Undocumented Features".

Anonymous said...

That's right gs. We wouldn't want to hurt any bugs' feelings, no matter how much damage they do.

PC rules the world.

Anonymous said...

You mean everyone else didn't get the essay?

Anonymous said...

"Look at the essays. They're beautiful!
"And the words! The words of that beautiful essay! I have never seen anything like it in my life!"

Anonymous said...

I think this essay was meant to be titled "The Wit and Wisdom of Wahneema Lubiano."

Anonymous said...

This is the funniest comment thread ever! Bravo!

Anonymous said...

Shhhh! Someone's coming!

________

"Man evolved from primates, K.C. Johnson evolved from 16 tons of number nine coal." General Theory of Relativity, at p. 34 (A. Einstein, 1933). MOO! Gregory

Anonymous said...

If a hen and a half laid an egg and a half in a day and a half, how many pancakes would it take to shingle a dog house?

Anonymous said...

Anon 5:59 -

Why it would take 27.341 pancakes. I'd walk you through the large and complicated calculations that I used to derive this number, but my cat ate them. So you'll just have to take my word for it. ;-)

Anonymous said...

amazing - not one wasted word in the whole essay !!

Anonymous said...

You must state your assumptions. In this case, the assumption is that the egg and a half wanted to get laid.

No justice, no peace said...

KC is this the publication list of the Gang of 88?

Maybe it's the corrective action/preventive action plan coming from the Administration?

The number of people in Durham with the juevos to charge CGM?

The number of papers over the past several years submitted to AAAs and Women's Studies professors that deal with; reverse discrimination, the Constitution, the Boy Scouts, affirmative action, out of wedlock childbirth, black on black crime, etc.?

Anonymous said...

Is _________________ a communist?

inman said...

The number of times Nifong opened his mouth without lying?

Anonymous said...

This post thoroughly encapsulates the positive qualities of the 88 and President Broadhead.

In addition it includes a complete list of the things Mike Nifong did right during the course of the Duke lacrosse case.

inman said...

to 6:26

Better Red than a dead red.

No justice, no peace said...

5:55 inre: #9 coal...

Sixteen Tons - Merle Travis

I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
Picked up a shovel and I walked to the mine
I hauled Sixteen Tons of number 9 coal
And the straw-boss said, "Well, bless my soul"


(Chorus:)

You haul Sixteen Tons, whadaya get?
Another older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter don't you call me cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store


Repeat Chorus

Born one morning it was drizzle and rain
Fightin' and Trouble are my middle name
I was raised in a canebrake by an old mama lion
And no high-toned woman make me walk the line


Repeat Chorus

See me comin' better step aside
A lot of men didn't and a lot of men died
I got one fist of iron and the other of steel
And if the right one don't get ya, the left one will


Repeat Chorus

Born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
Picked up a shovel and I walked to the mine
I hauled Sixteen Tons of number 9 coal
And the straw-boss said, "Well, bless my soul"


Repeat Chorus

Anonymous said...

To: 5:59, 6:11 & 6:19 --

Did the Egg and a half not want to get laid? Did she say "no" authoritatively enough? "No" sometimes means "no," and at other times, it means "maybe later" or even "yes, but I need more convincing."

Did the Chick and a half that laid the Egg and a half give the Egg and a half GHB or some other type of date rape drug?

Should we just insist that all chicks and all eggs sign written contracts in order to get laid? Will they need their own attorneys and long periods of negotiation and arbitration?

If the Egg and a half said "Yes," but later, in mid "lay," said, "No," does the chick have a claim for breach of contract? I can see it now:

LAWYER 1: The Egg and a half will agree to be laid at 7:50 p.m. but only if the Chick and a half agrees to use mouthwash and agrees to take a shower.

LAWYER 2: No Deal!

_______________

"The suggestions that K.C. Johnson provided to me ensured that the "Ninth Symphony" became, at long last, listenable." BEETHOVEN, AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY, at p. 159 (Zurich Press, 1824). MOO! Gregory

mac said...

I think we're being prepared for something...

Anonymous said...

K.C. has finally seen the light. This post says nothing about the glorious and radiant Tara Levicy, the light of our days who can do no wrong. K.C. now realizes how wrong he was to persecute this poor nurse who has never even so much as farted in the whole of her existence. Now it is time for all the criminal bloggers to cease their campaign of terroritsm!

inman said...

Actually. Gregory, you have a very interesting and potentially venture-capital backed marketing idea.

A pre-packaged set of "how no is this no" questions on an iPhone that effectively circumscribe the situation. You dial in the response...such as "...she said no but clearly didn't mean it..." and then you add the detail through a text message: "because the question was "would you like a new Ferrarri...."

Anonymous said...

To: 6:47 --

Funny you should mention that, as I had just gone to the toilet and taken a big Levicy. I know it was a Levicy because it was noxious, didn't hold up well under pressure, and it was easily flushed away because of its lack of utility.

Anonymous said...

This is the "something" that happened that night...

Anonymous said...

inman, that is a sweet idea. If we can take the idea even a step further and develop a polygraph-like machine or perhaps a urine-based test similar to the home pregnancy variety, I think we have something!

It would save the boy endless fruitless hours of, "But, baby, I really, really, really love you." And it will allow the girl to avoid hours of clumsy groping and broken bra clasps.

"... and standing right in the middle of the garden, keeping very much to himself, was K.C. Johnson ...." Genesis 1:2. MOO! Gregory

Anonymous said...

Mr. Johnson:

A superb essay. Tight and terse -- Pinteresque, one might even say -- in structure. An unbroken series of subaltern spaces, its groundbreaking use of total silence presents a compelling indictment of the vacuity of bourgeois culture itself. Your work starkly illustrates the futility of a search for absolute meaning in text. The tacit questioning of the values of the university and society as a whole, which suffuses the piece, shows a maturity rare indeed for a UWP student.

Grade: A

Keep up the good work!

Joseph Harris

Anonymous said...

To: 7:15 -- I think it is wicked effective parody of the "performance art-like" quality of the 88's scholarship. This is K.C. at his performance art best. Jonathan Swift would stnnd up and salute this satire, if he wasn't so effectively dead. P.S. Apologize now, asshat!

________

To: Inman -- I have continued my research and discovered that in the long, long ago time, "No" sometimes meant "fruit cup," but that was roughly translated from a eons-dead variation of Latin, and it is now disputed by the more respected schools of Latin etymology. Their thesis? It just doesn't make sense. For example:

PERSON 1: "Would you like to have sex?"

PERSON 2: "Fruit cup."

See? I do believe we need to continue our efforts at understanding this phenomenon so that we can warn the rest of the world about it.

__________

"The woman first starts sweating, then she quivers, visibly, and within 15 seconds, and this has been scientifically established and peer-reviewed in the New England Journal of Medicine, she has reached a physical climax." -- "Human Female Biological Response Upon First Observation of K.C. Johnson, Published in NATURE (Nov. 2006). MOO! Gregory

haskell said...

KC is just speechless at the latest outrages. BTW no justice no peace I first heard that song from Tennessee Ernie Ford.

Anonymous said...

Spooky.

No justice, no peace said...

Haskell, I beleive Merle Travis wrote the lyrics. I'm not aware of any other version than the great one by TEF.

The Women's Studies frauds would likely lock-up after hearing the song. In protest they would no longer buy coal, even though it would mean freezing their rears-off.

inman rotflmao said...

Re: Gregory @ 7:27

OK...you have my undying respect...that is too funny. It hurt my ribs I laughed so .....

Anonymous said...

inman, as debrah would say--You're so hot! Sizzling! ;))

Anonymous said...

No doubt about it!!!!! The Communists have sabotaged this blog.

Anonymous said...

stay off Floyd's comment thread, infidels.

Anonymous said...

Well, at least as informative as Prof Harris' actual response. I guess that's what is meant by "Creative Writing." What would Lane Williamson have said?

5:59: You didn't perchance use one of those old Intel P5's that came up with wrong answers, did you?

WF: Indeed. Nothing like a Friday nite open thread.

-- no, not that Glenn

wayne fontes said...

This post by KC has inspired his commentators to delve deeper and come closer to the absolute truth about life and lacrosse than I ever thought could be expressed in the English language. I'm proud to have personally known every one of you.

Anonymous said...

I guess Casey just drew a blank today.

Anonymous said...

Is Casey pregnant? Rumor has it that he missed a few periods.

mac said...

7:49
No, this is KC's tribute to the Unchained Melody,
and to the Malevich's "Suprematist Composition White on White"
(and "Black Square.")

Phentermine said...

Thanks for interesting article.